Dealing With Your Stomach Noises
For me, the noises my stomach makes are almost worse than the actual fact that I have to use the bathroom more often than most people.
I’m in my 20’s and while I usually stay in relatively safe places where I can find a moment to saunter off and do my business, it’s a lot more embarrassing to be alone with, say, a member of the opposite sex, and be getting into a deep conversation in an otherwise quiet room when all of a sudden, “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
I’m like, “sorry, my stomach is loud,” or “my stomach makes a lot of noises.” Then I’m just like, “so, wanna make out?” Only kidding.
It’s worse when I’ve just come back from dinner or having eaten in the presence of a date, because it’s harder to use the “I’m hungry” excuse when your innards decide to act up then. Sometimes the sound is really gross though and I’ve got to start talking loudly when I know it’s about to happen, or make noise with something else as a distraction, so you can’t hear my guts doing a drum solo.
The only real way to deal with stomach noises is to watch what you eat, expel your noxious fumes before you go out, and stay away from the foods you know will put up a fuss. This can be different for everyone - for me the worst ones are lettuce, chocolate, bread, and potatoes. When people offer me chocolate potato sandwiches, I always say no thanks.
I think food choices can really do a lot to quell or cause stomach noise, so pay close attention to how your body reacts from the different things you eat. Over time you can get a pretty good idea of what to expect from the chocolate monster and other terrible abominations.