Living With Crohns Disease

I had just turned eighteen and was about to begin my freshman year of college. For many people that summer is more exciting and scary than most; it’s a transition period where we feel as if we’re leaving our childhood behind and setting out into a new part of our lives. But for me this summer was even more troubling.

When you start to notice something disgusting and embarrassing, like blood in the toilet after you go to the bathroom, your first inclination is to ignore it and wait until it goes away. You want to believe it’s something temporary - maybe something minor from rough housing with friends or playing sports.

In those days I never had much pain or discomfort, as the early stages of this progressive disease don’t manifest many of the symptoms that begin to appear as time passes. It was only after the blood kept appearing every few days or weeks for the next few months that I finally decided to mention it to my mom.

She was the only person I ever would’ve felt comfortable enough to bring it up to in the first place. I’m not sure what I would have done otherwise, but I remember being surprised at the alarm with which she reacted. Her concern was strong and immediate, and although I wanted to make myself believe she was overreacting (as many children are wont to do in regard to their parents) I had the uneasy realization at that point that something big was probably going on.

When my mother told me I had Crohn’s disease, I was elated. Not because of that news, but because whatever magical concoction they’d flushed my veins with hours ago was still making me feel very happy. As I sat in the front passenger seat of the family van, half-conscious and coming out of an anesthesia-induced sleep on the way home from the hospital, she relayed what the doctor had told her he’d found during the colonoscopy.

I didn’t want to care. I was too busy watching the motion trails of the other cars on the road, the buildings and signs and people along the streets blurring into intricate patterns in the air as we flew by. Doesn’t matter. I’ll deal with it later, I thought. And deal with it I did.

Over the course of the next few years I underwent a series of periodic tests, treatments and regimens, and experienced a myriad of strange and disconcerting symptoms ranging from severe pain and bleeding to unpredictable days-long episodes of vomiting and sickness. Through diligent study and research I learned more about my body in five years than I believe the average person does in a lifetime.

Theories abound as to the origins of Crohn’s disease and its counterpart, ulcerative colitis, and the list of medications and treatments for both conditions is constantly growing. Still, there is no known cure.

While most doctors and medical experts claim that inflammatory bowel disease is an ailment that goes into and out of a state of remission, one thing I can say for certain is that I have never experienced this. Some days do finish better than others, but not a day goes by where I don’t think about the fact that I have this condition; not a single one passes where my body functions completely as it would were it a normal, unaffected entity.

I find it interesting that few medical professionals seem to believe that diet plays a significant role in the appearance of the disease, as I have found that eating a limited variety of foods helps to alleviate symptoms dramatically. It seems that avoiding processed sugars - especially corn syrup - and other starches and complex carbohydrates dispells most of the pain, discomfort and inflammation I used to have such trouble with. I have been using the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and my condition has improved greatly, but while this is something that has worked for me it may not be the solution for everyone.

Living with Crohns disease is a constant struggle. It is a chronic condition that you must be willing and ready to face at all times, but also I believe it’s important to view it as a boon rather than a burden.

I’ve come to realize that questioning God or the universe or the laws of fate will never get me anywhere, and neither will floundering in self-pity. Each day is a gift, every breath a reminder of the opportunities that life continues to provide to us. Surviving through pain is one of the only ways one can truly appreciate it as much as I have come to.